Wishing

If you had a wish, would you really use it to wish someone else a happy holiday? I'm thinking...no.

inside: Except I'm really wishing for a rocket ship and a boat.

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Happy is optional

Who says we have to be happy on our birthdays?  It's just another day, the day that reminds us all that life is flying by quicker than we can accomplish anything we dreamed of doing as a child.  And no, I have not yet starred in a mentos commercial, or gone on a date with Zack Morris.  And that's what I'll be thinking on my birthday, when everyone is demanding I be happy.

inside:  Have a birthday

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You make me bitter

It happens to all of us - a slip of the tongue, our foot in our mouths - but hopefully we can talk ourselves out of it and make things bitter...er...better.

inside:  Better.  I meant to say better.

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Coal in your stocking

You must've done something this year to upset Santa...run a red light, maybe?  Lie to a friend?  Call in sick when you were really home watching Full House reruns and drinking wine straight out of the bottle?

inside:  Happy Holidays!

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More importantly, you're hot

Admit it, sometimes all we want to hear is that we're hot.  Multiple times a day, via text, email, or greeting card.

inside:  More importantly, you're hot.

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How Rudolph got his red nose

Why is Rudolph's nose red?  Why does it glow?  I think I know why...

inside:  Happy Holidays!

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It's gonna blow!

So many candles has got to be a hazard...

inside:  The cake, not your birthday.

More than friends

I love my friends...and my more than friend too.  You?

inside: but I still love my friends...you know that, right?

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What's in your gift box?

We like to say that it's the thought that really counts, but come on now, the gift is pretty important too!  What would you like to find in your gift box?

inside:  It's what's in mine.  Happy Holidays!

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Infinity candle

An infinity candle would be much more efficient...don't you think?

inside: because I lost count.  Happy birthday!

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If you hadn't...

I appreciate the people who help me, of course.  Each and every one of them.  Equally.  Of course.

inside: Thanks for saving me the trouble

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Your beautiful eyes...

Sometimes, when we've been with someone for a while, we forget to notice what drew us to them in the first place...at least I do.  What exactly are you attracted to?

inside: I got used to it

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Would hate to be...

Watching raunchy reality stars makes me feel better about my life, and so do random stick men.

blank inside

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I blew them out

What do you wish for on your birthday?  I mean besides pink unicorns and sports cars.

inside: and wished you a happy birthday.

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Bundle of noise

When people have babies, we ooh and ahh at how cute, sweet, and cuddly they are. Does anyone ever mention the racket?  Answer: we do.

inside: Oops. I mean joy!

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